Gaslighting in Full Glam

Gaslighting is a term that has gained widespread cultural recognition, but its essence remains as insidious as ever. At its core, gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic designed to make individuals doubt their own reality. It erodes confidence, distorts truth, and places blame on the person experiencing harm rather than on the structures that create and perpetuate their suffering. It is a tool of power, used to uphold control and force compliance, whether in personal relationships, workplaces, or even entire political systems.

The world of politics is no stranger to gaslighting. It thrives on shaping narratives, controlling perceptions, and bending reality to fit an agenda. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the carefully curated image of conservative femininity—a world of pageant-level grooming, perfectly bronzed cheeks, bright but not-too-bold lips, and a seamless blend of traditional beauty with rigid gender roles. It is an aesthetic that promises security, happiness, and fulfillment, but in reality, it demands constant, exhausting labor while delivering none of its promised rewards. It is the gaslighting of women, wrapped in a full face of makeup and sold as a life choice.

The Illusion of Effortless Perfection

The conservative vision of femininity relies on a contradictory message: women should always look polished and beautiful, but that beauty should appear effortless. They should be poised, youthful, soft-spoken, and accommodating, but never acknowledge the physical, emotional, and financial cost of maintaining that image. It is not enough to be attractive; one must also pretend that attractiveness requires no effort at all and women do not age. It is the obsession the youth and innocence.

The women of Fox News exemplify this aesthetic. Blonde waves set in careful, voluminous perfection. A matte, poreless finish on the skin, where not a single blemish or dark circle from exhaustion dares to appear. Lips always defined, but not too dramatic. A warmth to the face, courtesy of bronzer and contouring, that suggests sun-kissed vibrance without ever acknowledging that much of it is sprayed, powdered, and airbrushed into place.

It is the look of tradition, control, and compliance—a visual signal that the wearer accepts her role within the order of things. It is also a look that demands constant, behind-the-scenes work, both physically and emotionally. It tells women that their value is in their presentation, yet denies the exhausting labor of maintaining that presentation. This is the gaslighting at the heart of it all: if you are struggling to keep up, it is not because the system is impossible—it is because you are failing at it.

The "Happier Woman" Myth

One of the most damaging aspects of this conservative aesthetic is the false promise that women who embrace traditional femininity are happier. In speeches, social media posts, and op-eds, conservative women claim that rejecting feminism, embracing their “natural” roles as wives and mothers, and following traditional beauty standards lead to greater life satisfaction. They portray the modern feminist as miserable, exhausted from chasing careers, and burdened by the pressures of independence.

But reality tells a different story.

Conservative women, particularly those in states that restrict reproductive rights and reinforce rigid gender roles, report higher rates of anxiety and depression. They are more likely to stay in unhappy marriages, more likely to face financial dependence on men, and less likely to have access to the resources that would allow them to leave abusive situations. Despite these realities, they are told that they have chosen correctly—that if they feel unsatisfied, the fault lies with them, not the system they were told to embrace.

This is where the gaslighting becomes nearly inescapable. If a woman does everything right—maintains her beauty, submits to her husband, raises her children, stays in her carefully designated lane—and still finds herself unfulfilled, exhausted, or suffering, she is made to believe that the problem is her own failure to embody the ideal. The goalpost keeps shifting: if she is unhappy, she must pray more, try harder, wear a smile, suppress the doubt. She is taught to mistrust her own feelings, even when they are screaming that something is deeply wrong.

Femininity as a Performance of Compliance

The aesthetic of traditional femininity, particularly in conservative political spaces, is not just about looking beautiful. It is about sending a message of compliance. Women who wear this look signal that they are agreeable, non-threatening, willing to play by the rules of male-dominated spaces. Their perfectly contoured faces and smooth, controlled appearances are visual reassurances to the men around them that they are safe—that they will not challenge authority, disrupt social order, or demand too much.

Makeup, in this context, is not just self-expression; it is an unspoken contract. Women who conform to the look receive approval, acceptance, and visibility. They are praised for their beauty and their composure, held up as examples of what women should aspire to be. They are allowed access to certain spaces—news studios, campaign platforms, high-profile political events—because they have proven they will not threaten the status quo.

On the other hand, women who reject this aesthetic are dismissed, mocked, or vilified. Liberal women in politics, particularly those who opt for minimal or natural makeup, are framed as “angry,” “tired,” or “unattractive.” If they do wear makeup, it is often scrutinized differently—seen as “trying too hard” or as a deception rather than an expectation.

The standard is impossible, but the consequence of not playing along is even worse. This, too, is gaslighting. Women are told that femininity is their choice, but the system punishes those who refuse to perform it in the "correct" way.

The Unseen Price of Suppressing Emotion

The expectation of polished perfection extends beyond physical appearance—it dictates how emotions can be expressed. Conservative femininity does not allow for visible distress, sadness, or frustration, because those emotions would smear the perfect illusion, just as tears would smudge mascara and foundation.

Women are conditioned to hold back tears, suppress pain, and swallow anger because showing real emotion means breaking the facade. Crying is weakness. Smudged eyeliner is evidence of imperfection. A quivering lip is a sign of instability. And so, women learn to choke down their emotions in the same way they carefully press powder to keep their faces matte.

This suppression is not just about looking good—it is a form of internalized self-control that keeps women silent and compliant. When women are denied permission to express their true feelings, they are also denied the ability to push back against the structures that harm them. They are told that their suffering is personal, not systemic—that if they just keep their faces perfect and their lips smiling, the problem will disappear. It won’t. But they have been trained not to cry about it, because crying would ruin the look.